Kitty Fisher

Size-positivity, feminism, self-esteem crises, ginormous tits.

Exercise Addiction

Posted by Kitty on April 14, 2008

I have become addicted to exercise. I just feel creaky when I don’t do it, and I am so much happier and more full of energy on days when I have exercised. My roller derby team has a bye this month; we bouted last week, and do not have another bout until the end of May/beginning of June. So we’re regrouping, at the moment. I had planned on taking it easy this month. I was injured over the winter, and as I was trying to get myself rehabilitated, I was totally flattened with the flu and then this sinus thing. So I’ve been struggling to get back in shape. I made it for last week’s bout, and performed adequately, but did not have my reserves of stamina of yore. (Last season I was the emergency sub– I was never too tired to go in, though I wasn’t very good, so towards the end of the bout, when the more skilled girls were starting to get wheezy and shaky, then I’d sub in more and more– because I wasn’t much good, but at least I could keep moving.)
So I’ve made a goal this month: I will exercise every day, but it will be something fun. Gardening, a bike ride by the river, a walk to the ice cream parlor, a boogie skate session, etcetera.
It hasn’t at all worked out. I’m on a committee, so I keep having to go to practice to talk to people, and I wind up skating. This morning I had to meet someone at the league practice in the morning, and then had to come back eight hours later for my team’s practice.

At team practice tonight, our coach decided that among other things we would work on our conditioning. I do not think it is any great secret that our team has a bit of a fanatical bent to it when it comes to conditioning; it was widely remarked upon by our supporters and detractors alike after our first bout that our main strength was that we just kept skating really fast. (As tactics go, it’s not a very advanced one, but the thing is, it can kinda be pretty effective. If you watch our league’s bout footage, the bouts we’re in tend to be at a noticeably faster pace than the ones we’re not in. Not really a surprise: our coach is a speed skater, so he teaches what he knows, and lets us sort of figure out the rest.)

So today’s joy included… twenty-minute sprints. Basically. It was a complicated drill, but that was what it boiled down to. (You theoretically got intermittent breaks, but the ‘breaks’ were proportionally rather small.)
This morning’s practice?
Well, a bunch of the drills were practicing whips and pushes. Those mean that you give a whip to your partner, which slows you down; you therefore have to sprint to catch her and get in front of her so that she in turn can give you a whip. What’s that mean?
Oh, it means you sprint for twenty minutes, pretty much.

By the middle of tonight’s practice I felt rather like I’d been through a meat tenderizer. I was wonderfully limber, able to cross over very deeply and able to flex and bend like a yogi. But I also was almost totally unable to actually exert any power with said muscles. They were so loose they no longer contracted.
(Though I did get some compliments for my performance during the sprints, so evidently I had *some* strength left.)

It was kind of a nice feeling. Having the two workouts so widely spaced was nice too in that I wasn’t constantly burning with fatigue. I’d had a chance to re-oxygenate and all that. It was hardly painful, in the grand scheme of things.
(My cramps, incidentally, are totally gone. I don’t think any of the muscles in my body want to contract anymore. It’s nice.)

I don’t want to become a total exercise addict. I don’t want to get all weird and crazy about it. I don’t want to make a habit of this having two intense workouts a day.
Because why?
Because I don’t have time to exercise that much, and what’s worse, I don’t have time to eat enough to support that level of exercise. I have mostly stopped using, because it’s very much about weight loss. Even when I first joined, I was a bit dismayed by the ambitious weightloss regimen the “automatic” type program (where you just gave it info and let it tell you what it thought your specific goals ought to be) projected for me. (I think it wanted me at 160 over the course of 6 months!) It let me step that back (I put down 185 over a year and it obligingly adjusted for me), and the site itself is not so specific, but it still was pervaded with references to weight loss.
I went there just now and entered today’s cardio. They don’t have roller derby, but they do have “rollerblading/skating”. How many minutes?
Hm… four hours… minus breaks…

According to its calculations, I burned over 2,500 calories today.

I certainly did not eat that much. I don’t know what I would have to eat to eat that much. I had a two-egg omlette with green pepper, tomato, garlic, cheese, and bacon for brunch. I had mashed potatoes and scallops for dinner. I had a big bowl of defrosted frozen blueberries with whipped cream, and a handful of chocolate chips, for dessert.
I just entered all that into SparkPeople and it barely makes it to 2000 calories once I remember to add in the glass of milk, the glass of juice, the beer and the can of pop I had today.

Calories in / Calories out is bunk, and I don’t want to be burning more than I take in. That’s a good way to fuck up your metabolism. I don’t want to make it so that my body becomes used to having to hoard energy because I don’t give it enough fuel. (Unrelated: it would be really nice if cars could be convinced to do this, however.)

I do feel really good tonight though. I’m sticking to this workout thing, I think. But I’ve got to make sure I have more foods in the house that will make me feel good to eat– not “good” as in virtuous, but good as in, not cramped or gassy, not hungry, not food-coma-y, not stuffed, not logy, not bloated. I need to pay better attention to my body, since I’ve been demanding so much of it. And I probably should take it a bit easier than I did this weekend.

I feel really good tonight.
We’ll see if I can walk tomorrow.


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